Today has been a hard day. Actually this week has been beyond difficult, more like tumultuous. I saw at the Gypsy Mama’s 5 minute Friday the word, “Growing.” With all of the recent events, “growing” seemed to be just the word to use to write on what has happened.
I’ve been fortunate to get pregnant on the first try both times with my girls. This third time around it was unexpected. And when I couldn’t see the handiwork of the Father at his canvas, he invited me over to take a peek. To see the life growing inside is a priceless work of art.
He painted hues I had never seen or imagined. I began to take hold of this canvas & hang it on my wall. It was unfinished, but with expectancy that May would grow & birth a wonderful painting that would leave me breathless.
Then streaks of red began to appear. Slowly but surely, they kept coming & wouldn’t stop. My beautiful painting was covered in blood red. My heart that was uncertain about the growth inside my womb, turned into magnificient joy of expectancy to greet this little bundle is now no more. This growing is not growing. This little gift is still a gift.
Words can’t help. My heart feels a bit empty right now. I know it will grow into a beautiful garden again, yet for now…it’s silenced. For now, my garden appears lifeless is still growing in the mysteries unseen.
Backdoor Hospitality 
oh, sweet kamille. my heart is aching for you. i am so sorry for you loss and will be praying for God's grace to bloom the garden of your heart again soon. may you rest in His faithfulness til the healing comes.
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thank you Brittany–I appreciate your words…truly I do.
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So, so sorry to hear. Hoping you feel loved, covered and embraced today. xo
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{{{Hugs}}} my friend. I have been where you are and what carried me through was His perfect peace. Never in my life have I experienced a peace when I did during my time of loss. I pray the same for you, Kamille. {I'll see you at Relevant}
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Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have been there also and can empathize with you! I will be praying for you and that the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and your mind.Blessings to you!
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Nish thank you. I am feeling the prayers of peace surrounding me. I am resting in the comfort of my good Father.Christin–thank you for your words. The words "when Peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll," have flooded my soul. thank you!
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My prayers are with you. Our Lord works in ways we cannot see. I hemorrhaged at 13wks with my second and waited in a pool of guilty tears for three days until I saw him moving on the screen again. Your prayers will be answered. Today not in the way you desired. Peace and Grace as you wait on the Weaver to reveal his masterpiece in your life. Hugs and blessings. My heart aches with you!
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thank you Rebecca, I'm certain God is going to transform & redeem–thank you again!
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Hi Kamille, I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I'll be praying for you during this time.
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Kamille,I know your ache and the emptiness, and the way words don't help. And the way they do–just that simple "I'm so sorry." I am so very sorry for your loss. May you know in such deep measure that the losing is not the end of the story, of His handiwork.
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I'm so very, very sorry. (I'm another FMFer). From my own loss, I know how much it hurts and how nothing can touch that for a while. I know how absolutely everything sounds trite. And I know how much you loved and love your baby. I'm just so sorry.
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Dear Ben and Kamille, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is so heartbreaking. I am glad and thankful to know about the life of your baby even though it was so short. And I am thankful to know to pray now for your mourning hearts. Thank you for sharing. I pray that you are very aware of how close our Lord is to the brokenhearted. May He give you His peace during this time.
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Oh, what a tough thing that is, many friends have gone through similar times, but nothing comes close to knowing what it is like personally. I'm another Five Minute Friday-er. My prayer is for peace and comfort and that God, who knows more than we who try to offer our support, will know just what you need in this time. I am thankful you shared!
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Oh, Kamille.I'm so sad. (((hugs to you)))Praying for you all. ~Stacy
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Praying for you and Ben, Kamille. So sorry for your loss. It's good to know you're feeling God's peace right now. I pray our Papa God will cradle you in His healing arms.
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Trusting in Him through the pain with you…you are blessed.
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Oh, my friend. How much heart aches for you…This is the song that has been on my heart for this past week.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOufqWodFNo&feature=player_embeddedMay it be a healing balm to your wounded heart….
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I'm new to your blog but just wanted to drop in to say that I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.
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It is interesting that Lindsey referred you to the song "Held" by Natalie Grant because that is the same song that I thought of when you told me of your loss. It is so honest about how the Lord Holds you when things in our life has such tragedy and loss. My sweet daughter, my heart broke for you and your family. I prayed for the comfort that only the Lord can give. I know that no words can make anything better, but know this, you and your family have wonderful friends that feel your pain and their hearts broke as well. You have been blessed with such loving friends.I wish that there was and is something that I could do to fix everything and take the pain and loss away. Please know that there are many of us that know the feeling. You are not alone. Lean on the Lords loving arms to get you through each day. I love you so much that I hurt to know you are hurting. If I could fix it I would. I am always there for you, Ben and the girls.
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Still thinking of you often, my dear one. Still praying.
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Everyone–thank you! I honestly don't remember who I sent private messages to or didn't. It's all been a blur & I value you taking the time to encourage me, love me & walk with me through this road. Kamille
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oh sweet camille. i had no idea when i met you at relevant that you had so recently had a miscarriage. how sad! my first pregnancy ended that way and i remember the empty feeling after. i loved your writing at our table. so beautiful! my only regret…that i didn't get some response to my words. i have plenty of room to grow, and that was a group i would have loved help from…some other day,maybe.in the meantime, i pray for God's healing to your soul after this loss. love the garden metaphor:) i hope for a blessed christmas for you and your family:)
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pardon the misspell kamille! ugh. m
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