kamillecscellick

Daydreamer & Ginger Cookies

In first grade I remember having to stay in from recess to finish my spelling words. The funny thing is I have always been really good at spelling, but what got in my way as a six year old was my ‘head in the clouds’ syndrome. I’ve always been that kid who daydreamed and it was (and still is) very easy to play through scenerios in my head, or relive a moment, or dream of what could be. This dreaming defines me as an idealist.

It can be a wonderful gift, but it can also be debilitating at times when a dream you have isn’t played out the way you envisioned and you feel let down. As I look at my oldest daughter I see this gift in her as well. She has quite the imagination, dreaming of what could be with her head in the clouds. I wonder, how can I encourage this, fan this flame inside of her?

At small group last night we were talking about our dreams, or for some of us, lack thereof. There were some who asked, “what if you don’t really have any dreams?” While others were asking, “What if you have too many dreams?” It was a good conversation that didn’t fit nicely into a package with a three point synopsis, a bit of irresolution is nice (more time to dream).

One of my reoccurring dreams is to see how we can open our home to people, either through spending the night or making them a home cooked meal. And as I expand upon this dream it hit me. Well, an easy way to accomplish this is through my baking (I love to bake more than cook). Two doors down are a group of young adults who at times can be a bit loud in the wee hours of the night, but they need Jesus’ love just as much as my children do, so I think some cupcakes or cookies are in order. Plus, what young person refuses fresh baked goods? Here’s our family’s favorite ginger cookies (and I’ve been known to bake them if asked).

Giant Ginger Cookies (printable recipe)

I had these cookies at a B&B and was thinking that I wouldn’t enjoy them, because I remember not liking Ginger cookies. I fell in love. So much so that I called them up 7 months later to get the recipe if they wouldn’t mind. I also told them I was pregnant and had been craving them for 7 months (I was willing to play any card for my advantage). I think you’ll agree with me that they are terrific.

4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
4 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups shortening (I know I’m not a big fan of using shortening–but these cookies are worth the sacrifice–use butter flavored)
2 cups granulated sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup molasses
3/4 cup coarse sugar or granulated (I’ve tried both and I personally prefer the granulated, b/c there’s less crunch from the sugar. If you like that crunch that comes from raw sugar or turbinado sugar–use it instead of the granulated)

1. In a medium mixing bowl stir together dry ingredients (flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and salt) and set aside.

2. In a large mixing bowl beat shortening with an electric mixer on low speed for 30 seconds to soften. Gradually add the 2 cups granulated sugar. Beat until combined, scraping sides of bowl occasionally. Beat in eggs and molasses. Beat in as much of the flour mixture as you can with the mixer. Using a wooden spoon, stir in any remaining flour mixture.

3. Shape dough into 2-in balls using 1/4 cup dough (you can use a small ice cream scoop designated for cookies). Roll balls in the 3/4 cup sugar. Place about 2 1/2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet (invest in parchment paper).

4. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 12-14 minutes (if frozen 14 minutes is fine–just check for doneness) or until cookies are light brown and puffed. (Do not overbake or cookies will not be chewy.) Cool on cookie sheet for 2 minutes. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cool. Store in a tightly covered container at room temperature for up to 3 days or in the freezer for up to 3 months. Makes 25- 4-in cookies.

Strawberry Jam without Pectin

I think a great gift to people is giving them canned goods. Granted I have only canned jams, but people love the specialness (my own word copyright) of it. There is also something so rewarding about making your own jam instead of buying it at the store. It’s a bit of a novelty because this was common stuff back in the day when a homecook couldn’t imagine going to the store to buy their canned goods–they would make it right at home. And I guess that’s what I like about it, being a part of something that were common occurrences around the home.
Now, I know it’s not all romantic and such, because that whole boiling water, sterilizing the jars, wiping off the jam, etc., isn’t the most enjoyable way to spend your time while your two girls nap. However, once you hear the popping of the lids, the jam setting, the first jar being opened to taste the results and a qualified, “MMMM” from your 2 1/2 year old, it makes it all worth it.

Strawberry Jam

Strawberry Jam (printable recipe)

This is a recipe from Barefoot Contessa. I have added my notes below in italics.

What you need:

3 pints strawberries
3 cups superfine sugar
2 Tablespoons Orange liquor (Grand Marnier)
1/2 cup peeled, cored & chopped Granny Smith apple
1/2 cup rinsed blueberries

Wash & rinse your strawberries. Hull them, cutting the large ones in
quarters, medium ones in half & small ones leave them alone.

In a heavy bottom pot mix strawberries with sugar & liquor. Set over
medium heat, stirring constantly. When it starts to boil, add apples
& blueberries. Maintain a rolling boil and stir occassionally,
skimming the foam off the top. Put in a candy thermometer in and wait
till it reached 220 degrees (25-35 minutes).

Once temperature is reached, cool to room temperature and put in jars
to put in fridge. Will keep for two weeks. If you want to have jam
keep longer than follow canning guidelines (you can look online or if
you have The Joy of Cooking). It produced about 3 3/4 half pint jars
of jam for me.

My notes:
1. You can pulse regular sugar in a food processor to make superfine
sugar, if you can’t find it at the store. I put the sugar in and
pressed on for about 45-60 seconds.
2. Grand Marnier is expensive, so you could do one of three things in
my opinion. Buy the little container (the ones they sell on planes),
omit it altogether as it adds a depth to the jam but not necessary, or
put in orange zest or orange extract.
3. I seemed to have stirred & waited for it to reach 220, but it
didn’t. I gauged it more on what it looked like. You could put a cold
plate in the freezer and drop a bit on the plate, then run a spoon or
knife through the mixture. If it parts (think Red Sea) than take it
off the heat. Remember that you’re basically working in the candy
arena & it could go from soft ball stage to hard ball stage pretty
quickly.

Barley-Kale Salad

I made this very yummy salad from this wonderful blog. Now if you were to tell me that I would like kale years ago I would think you were crazy. I remember tasting it many moons ago thinking, “This is rabbit food, except worst!” Well, I have changed my mind since and I plead with you to do the same if you are one who thinks eating rabbit food sounds pretty crummy.

I was originally going to serve this along side roasted chicken, but thought to myself, “there’s carbs and protein in it–why do I need to defrost chicken? Plus, it’s a wonderful sunny day and eating this salad just makes me feel healthy (we won’t talk about the two chocolate ganache cupcakes I ate though–will we).”

Plus, I’m always trying to find ways to incorporate the grain world with the vegetable world outside of a pasta salad. So if you’re simply wanting to make dinner, or make a side dish for guests coming over, or going to a celebration–this is a great summer salad (or not summer) to make.

**Plus the great thing about kale is it doesn’t wilt if you put dressing on it and store it in the fridge to eat the next day.

Birthday Barley Salad Recipe from www.inpraiseofleftovers.com

Salad Ingredients:
2 cups barley
1 head curly kale, washed, ribbed, and finely chopped
1 c. roasted pecans
1/2 c. dried cherries, roughly chopped
1/2 c. crumbled Danish blue cheese (or other firm blue cheese)
zest from one lemon

Dressing:
1 minced garlic clove
salt and pepper to taste (don’t be shy with your salt!)
1/2 ts. smoked paprika
4 Tb. apple cider vinegar
2 Tb. honey
1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil
1/2 red onion, cut into thin rings

For dressing: Mix the first five ingredients in a large measuring cup. Whisk in olive oil until emulsified. Season to taste. Drop in onions and let them marinate for at least 20 minutes.

For salad: Cook barley in lots of boiling water for about 45 minutes. There needs to be plenty of water so it won’t stick together–you want the grains to be separate. After it’s done (grains will be soft, but still a little chewy), drain it and run cold water over it. You can do this one day ahead if you want.

Toss barley with kale and most of the pecans, blue cheese, dried cherries, and dressing. I use my hands to do this. Scatter some of the remaining ingredients, the lemon zest, and a few marinated onions from the dressing over the top. I always like my audience to know exactly what’s in the salad just by looking at it. Grind a bit more pepper if you like.

Barley-Kale Salad

Shalom for Supermom

There are places within my life that creep out without any announcement of its arrival. As I’m simply sitting, walking, going along my day, I’m hit with this sense of distress. It’s like a suffocation that begins in my toes and slowly makes it way to my neck. I feel overwhelmed and disconnected. Disconnected with life. Disconnected with being a mom, being a wife, or simply being. I want to run far away to release, but even doing that doesn’t stop the disjointed feeling within me.

This would describe how I felt on Saturday. Both girls napping and me folding laundry with Ben sitting in the chair next to me. I was irritable, frustrated, angry, annoyed and probably any other negative adjective you can think of to fill in the blank. I knew my fuse was super short and I couldn’t put my finger on it. All I knew is something was out of balance. I began to tell Ben about my frustrations. How I felt like I was endlessly working on our home (household duties that are neverending, i.e. feed girls, wash dishes, do laundry, clean & sweep, etc, etc, etc). I felt like I wasn’t being appreciated for the work I did. I was feeling like there were expectations being put upon me that I felt were unfair, or even unrealistic. As I was talking (being the extrovert that I am) out how I felt, whether it be rational or not, it was as if I was peeling away layers of an onion coming to the core of the real issue at hand. The cause of this suffocation. As if I was Eustace in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader clawing away at my skin to release myself from this metaphorical dragon skin.

As Ben listened to me and let me simply vent, I was able to scratch through the surface and two truths emerged from the core of these feelings. One was what Ben said, (as I paraphrase) “you don’t have to be Supermom, Superwife, or super anything. Remember it’s like what Rob Bell wrote about, ‘you need to take your Superwhatever and take it out back and kill it.” The second was me realizing I simply needed grace.

Now it’s Monday and I’ve been stewing in these words and feelings today. I pulled out Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell to find that chapter on the Superperson image. If you’re not familar with Rob Bell, he’s the pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church of Grand Rapids, Michigan, making of the NOOMA videos, and in my personal opinion, is very refreshing to hear or read.

In the chapter, Tassels, in Velvet Elvis, he speaks about a time Mars Hills was growing and growing and he found himself in a closet between the 9:00 and 11:00 am service holding his keys, wondering how quickly he could get out of there. He was suffocated, like many, from trying to do it all. He was trying to be Superpastor. You know the image, doesn’t say no to anyone, needs to be the model father & husband, needs to live up to the potential that has been inscribed for self, basically a facade. No one can survive living a facade for long.

Let’s translate that to my feelings on Saturday and what I was really feeling. I would take something good in Scripture and slant it a bit, like Proverbs 31. A wife of noble character. As I looked at this description, I began to think how was I this wife and mother? How was I becoming “my ideal?” How was I living up to “my potential?” How was “I” filling or meeting my husband’s needs? How was I being a self-sacrificing mother? I mean, is it not a good thing that I have chosen to stay at home with my children, because it’s the best thing for them? I still believe that and I wouldn’t start working outside of the home to find “my grace,” but I was missing the mark.

Back to Rob Bell, he writes about the tzitzit appearing in Numbers 15, which are the tassels on the corners of the garment. The Israelites were to wear these tassels as a physical reminder to remember the commands of the Lord when they looked upon them. To not just remember the Lord’s commands, but where they came from. Not just where they came from, but who they were made to be. And not just who they were made to be, but how they were meant to live life (meaning for modern day: was I prescribing an anecdote that simply didn’t fit God’s for my life?)

What’s interesting about the tzitzit is how Jesus as a good Torah abiding Jew would have been wearing these on his prayer shawl when, the woman who was bleeding for 12 years touched the corner of his garment. But even more so is what Jesus said to the woman, “Go in Peace.” Too often peace is described (as Bell puts it) as “without conflict or absence of conflict,” but it’s so much more. It’s easy to find in Bellingham bumper stickers that say, “Know War Know Peace, No War No Peace,” which describes peace as a picture of all nations holding hands in unity. This picture misses the point.

To know peace is to know restoration. Jesus isn’t merely wanting to give us a peace without conflict or war–it’s deeper. Jesus was telling me on Saturday and today and constantly, “Kamille, go in peace, have shalom, walk in the total presence of my restoring, redemptive peace I’ve given on the cross. Not just in physical realities like the woman I healed, but the mental, emotional, all-encompassing peace. Let all of you be restored.” It’s this holistic beauty in the cross.

Salvation is more than simply saying a prayer and having a ticket to ride for free. It’s allowing Jesus to move through all of me. To have true shalom moving through me in all that I do. It’s the restoration of all things through Jesus. On Saturday, my way of doing things was breaking down. I had this image in my head of what “spiritual” looked like, what a “good” mom looked like, what a “loving” wife looked like.

Here Bell puts it very well: In addition, there is always a mystery behind the mystery. There is a reason we do what we do, and often it is the result of something that is the result of something that is–you guessed it–the result of something. What happens is we try to fix things, but we stop at the first or second layer. We’re stressed and so we make adjustments in time management. But a better question is, why do I take on so much? But an even better question is, why is it so hard for me to say no? Or even, why is that person’s approval so important to me?

But it’s even deeper than that and it’s not until you dig up everything–that you discover the core problem. The core problem is walking away from Shalom and walking in sin, which usually comes from a lifetime of lies I’ve believed about myself. I have believed in the facade of who I need to be and it’s an insult to the creative God who made me.

Instead, this is my job, “the relentless pursuit of who God has made me to be. And anything else I do is sin and I need to repent of it.” My job is not supermom, superwife, superbaker, superdaughter, superfriend, or whatever super fill in the blank I’m putting on myself. I need to kill the “super” image. I need to rest in God alone and get back to finding my identity in Him. I need to have my own tzitzit in my life to bring me back to the restoring grace and love of my Savior. I need to wipe out the voices of even good intentioned people in my life, because it detracts me from my job, “the relentless pursuit of who God has made me to be.” I still have a long ways to go in this journey, but I hope you’ll join me in it. I pray that we will find true shalom in our journey & we take our Superwhatever’s out back and kill them.